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Time passes rapid, one in an instant I already was person parent 8 years, marry 8 years from me in light of time, want to say most is with husband between in all sorts of pestering... it is good that actually the thing between husband and wife does not have what those who say, no more than is fuel and so on, and I and my husband tell most is " money " , money is good thing, this society does not have money now is absolutely incapable, a few people can face up to money to be muck really after all? I am no good, more did not mention my husband (see money weigh, door of dig or dig out with a finger or sth pointed [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], love gambles) , I think those who say is more than is money, more it is the domestic marriage that wants to speak me, ask losingly infirmly, is your domestic matrimony also such? Because I connect average domestic wage to be done not have, everything what hope average household place is had, so I yearn for...
Meeting husband that year is spring of 01 years, I had not arrived 20 years old in those days, go to work in ministry of enlarge of a colour, the little sister of husband gets photography, husband is in charge of coming everyday photograph of enlarge of the colour in my inn, time became long familiar, say honest, move without the heart to husband at that time that momently, probably I am too small in those days, also do not have amative experience, via living of the friend persuade, promised courtship willingly, every girl is first awakening of love it is wonderful, because the class hour on me sees classmate love, my this individual does not love to get these petty action, all along persist one's old ways, love is lost sight of in my eye, saying exactly is to do not have a person me can settle on, do good gracious female arrived 01 years. Once this petal wanted to blossom, that is about gorgeously dazzing, what I want this in the heart at that time, no matter resemble the it may not be a bad idea that acts in TV, the amative course of the friends in real still life places in me before, do not be close friends certainly romantic however I want sincerity in order to wait for.
Through the love of half an year, saw the parent, bilateral parent does not have what opinion, the key is the desire that should see ourselves, old at that time the pubic is very poor, without fine house, do not have money more, still existing debt, actually these do not have how old influence to me age is small at that time, I believe my ability, can patience behead 6 will, this family will be good, my father also said, do not be afraid of an end, the key is VIP agrees to work, (cry) as a result I and my pa see an eye, marry that evening we quarrel be troubled by irremediable, actually at the beginning he also is not in that way, still be osculatory person, a flock of gamble are mixed, the road that he was on ground of as time passes not to return.
When my son is born, husband says is to visitting shop (small shop run by couple) , it is to gambling actually, in those days I 20 years old, a person faces surgery, he arrives to just appear in the hospital the following day, as a woman, hope oneself husband is beside most when unripe child, and I walk over bravely, gave a hospital to return husband's family, after my mom saw me, sad ground cried, I had turned the head goes, weep silently, be afraid of be seen by my Mom, more do not be at ease issue me, I know the meaning of my Mom, I am too small, ought not to bear ought not belong to my susceptive.
Fight, brabble, commit suicide, I had worked, brabbling is common occurrence more, want 365 days a year to make a noise 360 days the least, had dogged he, had broken his field, had thrown his card, had abused the gamble person that is together with him, had taken kitchen knife to chase after had killed, still cannot rescue him, want to be done at the outset now these are very babyish, it is very babyish really, these I had not said with my pa Mom, it is myself is bearing silently, grandpa mother-in-law does not think the son gambles so, but also be say on the mouth, will help me without real operation, grandpa mother-in-law is sheltering forever husband, look in them I am not to give their son outer part so, letting me is heart injury very. Should not take my son to browbeat more my husband, he sees the child be indifferent to, have and not was same, conceive 8 many months at that time with respect to me, still call me to go to a hospital giving took, be born to still say want to sell later namely, as a result I and the aunt next door joke with him, say somebody of aunt native place wants to buy a boy, everybody cannot think of, husband says to if passing, be true, he should sell his child really, ask an aunt the thing where to progress goes to everyday, the in sad earnest says with me the child wants to sell how many how many fund, my heart does not know to be given what by what in those days [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], ineffable, rip a heart to crack lung.
Cannot use the state of mind that the language will come to convey me 8 years this, not before the flowers and below the moon, did not swear by the moon and the stars in the skies to love forever, (sad) 8 years when turn one's head thinks oneself and husband are in one case this, had not shopped together, had not seen the movie, had not bought a thing to me (the thing that makes a bottom of the heart want wife) , do not have too much, the birthday that does not remember me is which days, the birthday that asks husband the son namely is which days, he also wants to want to replying, for example we did not cook in the home tonight, our family eats to the outside, in us like such thing the home won't happen forever. Make the same score the flat life of ordinary person home, in me the home is like, in my home besides quarrel, affray theme also is around move " money " , do not have other good those who say!
Before paragraph time fell ill, discover " Azrael " very close from me! Ah! But terrible is not Azrael, however one lets my scared person [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], one accompanies the person that I took 8 years, one lets me have " good memory " a person, my child calls him father so a person, make me sad come extremely! From inside his word, I look clear all everything, loving a person is what flavor, is those who love a person to be about to suffer him angry? Love a person to be about to get penalty? Love a person. . . . . . . . Such word I aux would rather do not go loving such a certain person, very tired! The heart is tired! Often insomnia, let me think over all night, what cannot love is too deep, cannot indulge the other side at the beginning, indulgent the other side, no matter be who arrives,finally is not he is the closest, the most reliable, only oneself parents is from only then be opposite eventually oneself children is good, lean outside anybody is no good, once have what thing,you can not move a step, the husband that includes oneself (but also not be one stick beats dead oh) , love resembles a treasure when you, when loving you, resembling is sodden grass, when hating you, be only too anxious to you are dead, that disease before thinking of oneself suddenly 4 years, of cough fierce, take medicine to be used without giving thought to, after quarrelling, I returned husband's family to hang water, such, still call call me [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to do not delay you gamble? After coming back, slept one day, have a fever 39.5 ° , of cough cannot talk, I sleep confused, know oneself are having a fever far from, the girl next door if it were not for will see me, I estimate what how die not to know, when the girl sends me to go to a hospital by bike, say with me all the way: "Had not seen you a such husband, I hate him " , alas, the doctor says my within an inch of is pneumonic! ! Hanged the water of a chapel, spent 1000 piece, he still is disrelished much! ! The son has irritability rhinitis, I take a son went to hospital of the first people, bring medical service... several hospitals go looking. Does the son fall ill become father can you give look? Say I am wasteful money, the cold in child small night has a fever is constant some thing, constant one individual at dead of night looks after children go to a hospital, what he sleeps in the home is very dependable, faint thoroughly.
I want to know really, you love not to love me after all, do not love me to unlock me, do not let me live below your shadow, you also can go him look for happy, since I cannot give you happiness, do you delay my happiness why again? I understand your idea very much, I understand you, know why you don't unlock me, you are selfish, you are actual, you are merciless... ... these are my dissatisfaction to you, but of a person tolerating have limit, I am not everything your, you also are not everything my, I hope we can have passed, everybody has the one side of benevolence, husband! I ask you: Where is your benevolence? Whether can answer me, I am your wife, the what that is not you of what... ... every word that you say makes me sad, I am gutty and actuation, I wanted to kill you, are you a man? Are you my husband? Are you the child's father? Don't you have responsibility to this family? I am a woman, whats want me to worry about, the knowledge on the child is inscribed, the thing in inn is waited a moment, excuse me you: The loan that we mortgage a house had you fallen a month? Had you paid rent? What thing had you bought to do not have to the son? Did the electric line in the home become bad had been you repaired not? Know you to had washed a dress to do not have from me? In the home again random had been you arranged? Again excuse me you 8 years, do you regard the husband, father as you what to create to this home? Condition? Economy? Care? Caress? You besides sleep even if do not answer the ground to gamble all night, to what love the new and loathe the old we praise you without fine words! Does people say me how did you look for a such man? Right, how did I look for a such man, I ask myself from the bottom of the heart! My aunt has said before, sacred group will torment me torment him, your have no way chooses, have accepted share only! Probably too small before do not know, but the idea that I have myself now, I choose to escape. I also do not think so bad news is worn, everybody is young, you have your the world, I have my sky, is black clouds completely in our sky why? Why to let yourself exhibit boxing foot greatly in your the world, I hover freely in my sky. But my apprehension is most is the child, I hope you are not on our thing selfish to the son, he is your son forever, where walking along is, do not take a son to take the shop sign of money more as you, the son is us of two people, who responsibility, who is accountability.
I know us now is to be not answered previously, quarrelling namely also is temporarily quiet, I am to was disinclined to quarrel, I understand you, understand you very much, I know I am together with you again, I am the following the life will be to do not have sunshine [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], did not hope... . . Because you do not have progressive goal, without struggling motivation, without the care to the family, you have the longing to gamble only! Of gamble you have intense emotion very much, also have experience, but the profession that this is not you, gamble is OK becloud one the individual's heart, gamble can make the person's thought degenerative, also do not have enterprise again! Say for go, I ought not to know you, not the so love when deserve you, if did not encounter you, where will I be to be in then? What live probably is very good, very happy! I these year will depress oneself mood in not happy, joyless, sullen condition all the time, I am visitting shop all the time, go out without a bit time, arrive to did not give the Anhui province greatly as a child, you know I am how to want to view the world outside, much experience local customs outside, from the net I can know a lot of friends, in letting me know reality lives, be how human nature is changed, the friend's care, the friend's blessing, the friend's understanding and to the friend recount let me feel extremely flattered, just be reluctant to leave a net to go up so, you have a friend, cannot I have a friend? I also am a person, also have hate and desire 6 desire a person, chat let me know I am joy, happy, I also have my humorous one side, I am how yearning have a lot of friends, not only it is a net go up, also hope to have a friend in reality, what through the network I discover the world is such is big, myself is how insignificant. You do not understand me! Say a slave that I not Orphean am you, I am so think, you had not considered for me, the footing that did not stand in me thinks for me! In your heart, are I and son had % how many? The position that still perhaps does not have us!
Said so much, I hope you can see husband one day I write for you these, hope you can understand me, well want, what thing relies on others is otiose, the labor gain that with his both hands innovation gives is the most melting! Hope you can well the life attitude that changes you! Alas! Saying adventitious also is to say in vain, but such I most in at least heart much more delighted, son second half of the year is about to go up 2 grade, the child needs a favorable learning environment, son now is me is all, my hope is placed be on child body, I also do not consider the child's egregious pressure, arrange its nature! Also hope you do not force the thing that to the child he is not willing to work, I do my child advocate.
Actually I do not know I say such wanting that be opposite so, stand in my footing to speak your insufficient place probably, likelihood everybody can feel I am very selfish, but listen to me to say, hope everybody can understand me, seeing an end is my err, still be his fault, your precious opinion is very principal to me, let me know I am wrong after all at least! !
The house sold still a debt of honour is adscititious a paragraph of disgusting kinescope, I should divorce, it is very difficult really to make this decision, consideration child, oneself are the following after the consideration road, there are you after I believe to be in " company " those who issue me to be able to go is cheesier...

8 endless years:

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2009-6-18 12:21|||Sun elder sister
Not allow really easy Oh
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