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Wysłany: Pią 11:12, 21 Sty 2011
Temat postu: I'm totally fine
hadn't completely and inexcusably lost control of his temper. Edward hadn't tried to rip Jacob's head off
―Jacob, who wouldn't even phase to protect himself―and then accidentally broken Seth's shoulder and
collarbone when he jumped in between. Edward hadn't almost killed his best friend.
Not that the best friend didn't have a few things to answer for,
gown Canada
, but, obviously, nothing Jacob had done
could have mitigated my behavior.
So shouldn't / have been the one apologizing? I tried again.
"Seth, I―"
"Don't worry about it, Bella, I'm totally fine," Seth said at the same time that Edward said, "Bella, love,
no one is judging you. You're doing so well."
They hadn't let me finish a sentence yet.
It only made it worse that Edward was having a difficult time keeping the smile off his face. I knew that
Jacob didn't deserve my overreaction, but Edward seemed to find something satisfying in it. Maybe he
was just wishing that he had the excuse of being a newborn so that he could do something physical about
his irritation with Jacob, too.
I tried to erase the anger from my system entirely, but it was hard, knowing that Jacob was outside with
Renesmee right now. Keeping her safe from me, the crazed newborn.
Carlisle secured another piece of the brace to Seth's arm, and Seth winced.
"Sorry, sorry!" I mumbled, knowing I'd never get a fully articulated apology out.
"Don't freak, Bella," Seth said, patting my knee with his good hand while Edward rubbed my arm from
the other side.
Seth seemed to feel no aversion to having me sit beside him on the sofa as Carlisle treated him. "I'll be
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back to normal in half an hour," he continued, still patting my knee as if oblivious to the cold, hard texture
of it. "Anyone would have done the same, what with Jake and Ness―" He broke off mid-word and
changed the subject quickly. "I mean, at least you didn't bite me or anything. That would've sucked."
I buried my face in my hands and shuddered at the thought, at the very real possibility. It could have
happened so easily. And werewolves didn't react to vampire venom the same way humans did, they'd
told me only now. It was poison to them.
"I'm a bad person."
"Of course you aren't. I should have―," Edward started.
"Stop that," I sighed. I didn't want him taking the blame for this the way he always took everything on
himself.
"Lucky thing Ness―Renesmee's not venomous," Seth said after a second of awkward silence. '"Cause
she bites Jake all the time."
My hands dropped. "She does?"
"Sure. Whenever he and Rose don't get dinner in her mouth fast enough. Rose thinks it's pretty
hilarious."
I stared at him, shocked, and also feeling guilty, because I had to admit that this pleased me a teensy bit
in a petulant way.
Of course, I already knew that Renesmee wasn't venomous. I was the first person she'd bitten. I didn't
make this observation aloud, as I was feigning memory loss on those recent events.
"Well, Seth," Carlisle said, straightening up and stepping away from us. "I think that's as much as I can
do. Try to not move for,
silk wedding dress series
, oh, a few hours, I guess." Carlisle chuckled. "I wish treating humans were this
instantaneously gratifying." He rested his hand for a moment on Seth's black hair. "Stay still," he ordered,
and then he disappeared upstairs. I heard his office door close, and I wondered if they'd already
removed the evidence of my time there.
"I can probably manage sitting still for a while," Seth agreed after Carlisle was already gone, and then he
yawned hugely. Carefully, making sure not to tweak his shoulder, Seth leaned his head against the sofa's
back and closed his eyes. Seconds later, his mouth fell slack.
I frowned at his peaceful face for another minute. Like Jacob, Seth seemed to have the gift of falling
asleep at will. Knowing I wouldn't be able to apologize again for a while, I got up; the motion didn't jostle
the couch in the slightest. Everything physical was so easy. But the rest...
Edward followed me to the back windows and took my hand.
Leah was pacing along the river, stopping every now and then to look at the house. It was easy to tell
when she was looking for her brother and when she was looking for me. She alternated between anxious
glances and murderous glares.
I could hear Jacob and Rosalie outside on the front steps bickering quietly over whose turn it was to
feed Renesmee. Their relationship was as antagonistic as ever; the only thing they agreed on now was
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that I should be kept away from my baby until I was one hundred percent recovered from my temper
tantrum. Edward had disputed
their verdict, but I'd let it go. I wanted to be sure, too. I was worried, though, that my one hundred
percent sure and their one hundred percent sure might be very different things.
Other than their squabbling, Seth's slow breathing, and Leah's annoyed panting, it was very quiet.
Emmett,
Modest wedding dresses
, Alice, and Esme were hunting. Jasper had stayed behind to watch me. He stood unobtrusively
behind the newel post now, trying not to be obnoxious about it.
I took advantage of the calm to think of all the things Edward and Seth had told me while Carlisle
splinted Seth's arm. I'd missed a whole lot while I was burning, and this was the first real chance to catch
up.
The main thing was the end of the feud with Sam's pack―which was why the others felt safe to come
and go as they pleased again. The truce was stronger than ever. Or more binding, depending on your
viewpoint, I imagined.
Binding, because the most absolute of all the pack's laws was that no wolf ever kill the object of another
wolfs imprinting. The pain of such a thing would be intolerable for the whole pack. The fault, whether
intended or accidental, could not be forgiven; the wolves involved would fight to the death―there was no
other option. It had happened long ago, Seth told me, but only accidentally. No wolf would ever
intentionally destroy a brother that way.
So Renesmee was untouchable because of the way Jacob now felt about her. I tried to concentrate on
the relief of this fact rather than the chagrin, but it wasn't easy. My mind had enough room to feel both
emotions intensely at the same time.
And Sam couldn't get mad about my transformation, either, because Jacob―speaking as the rightful
Alpha―had allowed it. It rankled to realize over and over again how much I owed Jacob when I just
wanted to be mad at him.
I deliberately redirected my thoughts in order to control my emotions. I considered another interesting
phenomenon; though the silence between the separate packs continued, Jacob and Sam had discovered
that Alphas could speak to each other while in their wolf form. It wasn't the same as before; they couldn't
hear every thought the way they had prior to the split. It was more like speaking aloud, Seth had said.
Sam could only hear the thoughts Jacob wanted to share, and vice versa. They found they could
communicate over distance, too, now that they were talking to each other again.
They hadn't found all this out until Jacob had gone alone―over Seth's and Leah's objections―to explain
to Sam about Renesmee; it was the only time he'd left Renesmee since first laying eyes on her.
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